Friday, November 1, 2013

Month 4 with Chemo

Let me start off by stating I'm incredibly lucky and blessed!

My treatment is so light compared to other breast cancer patients....

August 2012 I was noticing something was off so to the doctor I go.  We did the typical mamo and ultrasound, we saw something small...no big deal...had a small biopsy...Whoop there it is!

We caught the cancer so early and due to other health issues (brain lesions and migraines) we decided to do small radiation to shrink it down even more then maybe do an easy lumpectomy to remove it.  Plan worked except for my blood markers by spring still did not move down...no mass but my blood is still showing something is there.  So July we started a trial program of small dose chemo, oral, weekly for long term and to eliminate the pre-cancer cells in the breast and cervix....18 months!

Ok it's thankfully not like your typical chemo....so far I still have my hair, I don't get violently ill and I can work (kind of), however it does make you feel constantly weak, sick and your system can pick up any little virus.

So today marks the end of my 4th month of treatment.  We have had some up's and downs, life changes, lots of stress but over all I have been holding up!

The only thing that is frustrating is the time missed from work and not having the ability to give my all to work, life and everyday living.  Discussions with the Dr. include blood work, decrease my stress level and lack of financial assistance.  Unfortunately I don't have short/long term disability insurance and to get one now there would be a preexisting conditional hold on coverage...and the federal government does not honor disability for a case like mine...it was denied.

So on to month 5 trying to keep stress to a minimum, moved in with the parents so we can save some money and trying to find ways to honor my work...even thought daily its a struggle just to get out of bed.  Apologies to all my friends and co-workers for dropping off the face of the earth the past 4 months, but I just don't have the energy to give any extra...it can only go up from here!  So forward we go taking it one day at a time...thanks everyone for your love, prayers and encouragement...I am truley blessed!

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Packing & Moving to Where?

Oh the joys of moving...yes I said JOY!

The beginning of October our landlord notified us she was moving back to Colorado and was in need of her home.  Can you say panic?  It defiantly set in...especially when we started looking for a new rental and could not find any with in our price range.


Week 1 - start packing and +Sabina Claus starts the internet search through +Craigs List Posting Service  and +Zillow.  There was a few properties out there so I set appointments to go and view them.

House #1 we will name the crack house.  There were two reasons why this was named the crack house.  One the inside was so outdated and looked like the patched holes in the walls were a last minute deal just to get the place rented, two there was a 1/2 inch crack all along the foundation wall.  It had potential and was currently the only home with in our price range that was not to far from Grandmas house or in an unsafe neighborhood.  I get there for what I thought was a private showing with application and $ in hand...there were 12 other families also there to view the home.

Week 2 - Continue packing and go neighborhood hunting with +Susan Castillo ...there were no for rent signs anywhere

House #2  a townhouse listed as a 2 bedroom 2 bath 980 for $1200/mo (i'm dying at the prices let me tell you) Again there are multiple people looking at the home and its not a two bedroom but a one small bedroom (might fit a double) with a basement family room (had a closet and door to the basement lets call it a master bed)

House #3 Apartment hunting we will go...after 3 communities of problem properties we decided that apartment living would not work with our price range.  One most communities would not take Gracie and if they did there would be monthly pet charges plus a 3 times your out barking rule and two they were so ghetto I was in fear of my amazing husband landing in prison for some of the crazy people who lived there

Week 3 - House almost completely packed...I hate living out of boxes

House #4 Finally found a home in Zillow in our price range, small "cute" house...go for private viewing!  Again multiple families are also there "bidding" on the home.  It's not available until Nov 18th...but we will figure it out.

Week 4 - We have no choice but to move...but to where?  My wonderful Mother +Susan Castillo and Grandmother both offered rooms for us to live in till we find a home...we decided the space and sanity we should move in with the Castillos for a while.

  • Everything but our bed and clothes are in storage ($456/mo for storage are you kidding me?)
  • Gracie will get to go to camp every day - this way she wont kill the cat or Dad who is home all day go crazy with her under foot ($115/week...again are you kidding me?)
  • Michael has the opportunity to take allergy meds everyday - he is very allergic to cats (thankfully right now only $30/mo)
  • Mom and Dad...bless their hearts, just moved into their home in June...they already have live in long term guests (loving parents = priceless)
Yesterday I handed over the keys to my landlord...my good friend Angela Baldauf cleaned our filthy house...It looked amazing and today marks 5 full days living at mom and dads.  Things are going great...but the final bills are now coming in.  Hopefully starting December we can start saving the money and find the right house this spring.

In the mean time we will focus on me healing, saving money...and keeping my husbands sanity together!





Saturday, May 11, 2013

A Busy and Blessed Life!

I most certainly have a busy life, most my friend on facebook I'm sure roll their eyes when they see an updated post from me.


It occurred to me this morning after posting a simple word of HELP yesterday on facebook of how luck and /or blessed I truly am.
You see I was stuck in a state of panic that I must confess I created (we usually do if we are truly honest with ourselves.)... 

My oldest dear daughter is trying to find peace in her life with end of junior year in college and she just starts to see the light and BAMB she gets an unexpected email that I know will throw her into a state of depression.

My amazing baby girl is at the end of one season of life...graduating from high school and already is planning her new step in life moving to college in just a short 6weeks

My handsome and very helpful husband is going through another transition in life where one day makes him smile and the next makes him give up.


Grandma decided a few weeks back that we needed to sell her beautiful home that we just settled her not 16 months ago because the house isn't a good fit....she needs a home with no stairs (duh), and we are at the home stretch her home under contract and a cute little ranch waiting for her to move in and put her wonderfully "white decor" touches on.  Then the bomb hits..inspection issues and we wonder if anything will close at all.



Mom is also moving...she so needs my help and all I can do is be a sounding board when she is on the cliff and pray.


My job is so much fun and is so busy, I have so many fun projects in the works and have the freedom to create its crazy


So you see my life is full and busy, and yesterday I hit the stage where I found myself complaining, breaking down and not knowing what to do.

Then it hit me....Sabina you are blessed!
Shannon is doing so well in school and has an amazing job...pursuing her dream of teaching
Jessica has turned into a beautiful young lady who now has a future plan...pursuing her dream of audio production
Michael finally has a job...may not be his dream but he is enjoying it
Grandma is here and I have the enjoyment of spending time with her and getting to give back to her after all the years she gave to me
Mom and I get to talk almost everyday (it's not about fun stuff but we are talking) and she is moving closer to me

So Sabina stop panicking and look around at who you still have with you....because in a blink of an eye it could be gone.